A Weekend Retreat for You to Recharge from Home
Yeah… it’s 3 am and the burnout is real. This year the line between work and personal life got blurrier than ever. Let’s see if you relate:
- There is nothing in my cup
- I feel unseen and under-appreciated and overworked
- The demands are just not realistic
- Working from home makes it hard to know when to stop
- You feel you have to be “ON” all the time
- I’m falling out of healthy routines
- I don’t set boundaries
- I’m in an irritable mood, simple questions bug me
I think we all get the point and yes we should all be on “child pose” by now!
I started this with one intention.
To remind you that:
The biggest thing when it comes to resilience is self-care.
I invite you to listen to this interview with my good friend Jo Hatcher, a licensed family therapist and retreat leader. Jo has worked with all military branches and totally gets burnout. She is our best ally when we forget what self-care looks like.
I want you to listen to it, and if you need the break to join us on October 23rd – 25th on a must needed Women’s Self-Care Online Weekend Retreat to reclaim our good vibes and positive energy.
The retreat is designed to help you use ultra self-care to restore the balance of your body, mind, and spirit. With gentle morning yoga, a healthy cooking class, mindfulness exercises, journaling prompts, decluttering, sound healing, and group calls… all online!
Can you believe in the afternoon we’ll be joining Chef Bai for her virtual cooking class!? She will be teaching us about high vibrational foods to boost up our immune system.
And an evening to reconnect with our souls by doing a Yoga Nidra session with Ellison Wofford!
This is a $600 value for only $197. Sign up today because space is tight.
Want your company to sponsor you, because you rock? Please email firstname.lastname@example.org for more details.
Women’s Self-Care Online Weekend Retreat
- Group call
- Journaling prompt
- Online guided meditation with Jo
- 60-minute morning yoga with Ellison
- Virtual cooking class with Chef Bai
- Personal activity
- Journaling prompt
- Evening meditation with Jo
- Decluttering session with Jo
- Your personal activity
- Journaling prompts
- Group call for reflection
- Yoga Nidra with Ellison
Plus recipes, health tips, and inspiration all delivered to your inbox.
Andrea: [00:00:00] So thank you so much for joining us today I am right here with Joe.
Andrea: [00:00:05] Joe is a good friend of mine and also a great retreat leader, life coach and licensed marriage and family therapist. She has worked for all branches of the military as a therapist. So she gets burned out. So today we are going to be talking about burnout, self-care, and what are some of the ways that we can turn things around this year? Right. What can we do? And obviously, there’s a beautiful invitation to be part of this wonderful weekend retreat that I know it’s a much needed thing for many of us. So, Joe, thank you so much for being here today.
Jo: [00:00:49] Thanks for inviting me to be here. Andrea and I just wanted to say that I think we’re in the toughest times we’ve ever been in this year, 20, 20. And I, I just read last night where like two thirds of the American workers are struggling with stuff like burnout. Right. Right now because of everything that people are working from home and they’re trying to do virtual learning with their children. And there’s a lot of financial insecurity, too, that people don’t know what’s going to happen. Right. None of us do. Right. So it’s it’s even I mean, even before covid, before we had the pandemic, I think it was hard. But now, more than ever, we’re being challenged on every level right now.
Andrea: [00:01:37] So talking to people around, you know, burnout and what they’re experiencing and I know we were talking about the right before we started the interview is how the line between our personal life and our professional life really got blurry I mean, we have moms having to be at work trying to figure out how they’re going to get their kids online, feed them so their eight-hour day now is turning into a 12 hour day.
Andrea: [00:02:10] And why do you have to think about how we drive ourselves to that level of burnout?
Jo: [00:02:17] Right. Well, it’s just it’s insane what we’re trying to do. Right. And I don’t think our brains were made for this, that we’re not machines. Right. So it’s even tougher. Right. And you can’t escape. And you and I and some of your listeners, I’m sure, right here in California with the fires and you can’t escape. You can’t even get away. And that’s another thing, too. I think if you had just had a break, that helps. But one of the things that you and I were talking about, sometimes it’s hard to even recognize that you are in burnout. I know that’s happened to me before and I’ve had things happen to me. Like I just, you know, I didn’t care about anything. I just lost the joy and the pleasure. And I think that’s one of the signs when we get to that point. And it’s not it doesn’t happen necessarily overnight that we have burnout. It’s a gradual process that can just and then you wake up one day and you don’t want to get out of bed. Right. Or I mean, there’s so many.
Andrea: [00:03:14] You are dragging it, you are dragging the day right? Yeah.
Jo: [00:03:19] There’s so many symptoms that go along with it, like difficulty trying to sleep. Right. Falling asleep or waking up in the middle of the night, gaining weight. Just there’s some sometimes people have difficulty concentrating on what they’re doing and just just having that apathetic feeling. I mean, like you want to burn the house down and just leave. Right? Is that all the stuff? You just don’t sometimes you don’t care. You know, that can be physical symptoms like headaches or, you know, if you get a cold, you can’t seem to get rid of it. You might have digestive issues. There’s all kinds of things that go with this.
Andrea: [00:04:02] But one of the things that I hear a lot from my clients and the people that I’ve been talking to is that every day looks the same.
Jo: [00:04:13] Yeah,
Andrea: [00:04:14] You wake up in the morning and you know, your and your day ends and then you know that what’s waiting for you is the exact same thing. So we’ve been like this since March already.
Jo: [00:04:29] Yeah.
Andrea: [00:04:31] So hopefully the people that are listening to us are needing some of that reminder of self-care. And I say reminder because I don’t think self-care is something that we need to learn. I think we all have that inner compass and we know what we need to do to be well. So what what are some of the techniques or remind us of what self-care even looks like, right?
Jo: [00:05:01] Yeah, right. And you know, that’s so true, Andrea, because I think everyone does know what self-care what makes them. Feel relaxed or whatever, but why we don’t do it? I’m very curious about that, because I put myself at the top of that list, too, and I’ll talk more about that in a minute. But it can be to me, it’s a guide for whatever brings you joy. So, you know, a lot of people think it’s a massage or a pedicure or a manicure. But to me, self-care is so much more than that. Right. It’s making time for yourself despite everybody demanding your time and women we try we try to hold everything together. We hold our families together, work everything. And it we’re like the hub of the wheel, right. We keep things moving. And you and I were just talking about this. Sometimes I think that we take on too much when we could ask for help. Right. So how many times do you see or do you hear a woman say, well, I’ve worked all day long, I’ve gotten the kids organized, I’ve got to get them in the bath, I’m doing the dishes, I’m cooking, you know? And the husband is sitting on the sofa watching TV because, you know, he’s not even thinking about what has to be done. And I’m not trying to bash me on or anything like that. But I think men do have a little bit better sense of just taking care of themselves like that. They don’t have they’re not running around feeling guilty if everything doesn’t fall into place.
Andrea: [00:06:42] Right. Right. Right. Yeah, yeah. The one place of everything that needs to be taken care of that you say that you said that self-care has to do with finding the things that bring us joy, right?
Jo: [00:06:57] Yeah.
Andrea: [00:06:58] It doesn’t need to be something very expensive. Luxury, just a simple thing. Like for me sometimes it’s just going outside and feeling the sun on my skin and watering the plants. And knowing that that’s my time, my space, or it could be that I you know, that I decided to take time to just connect with a friend and talk about whatever right, have fun.
Jo: [00:07:26] Yeah, that’s right. And that’s a really good point that you made talking to a friend, because we women that’s that’s really important to women. And I think there was a study at UCLA about this, that women live longer because they do connect with their women friends is super important. Right. The other thing that I want to talk about that sometimes people don’t think about is just saying no, saying no to the things that you really don’t want to do. Right. And this can, even so, people might be thinking, well, what if my boss asked me to do something right? I have the whole document on my website about this, about how do you say no? Because it can get tricky. But this you and I were talking about this, too, that I think sometimes we feel guilty if we’re not doing everything that people ask of us. Right. Are we we’re in fear that we’re going to lose our job or something’s going to happen. But I think this is the time to take out your journal and just think, OK, what am I doing that I don’t have to do that I’m doing because I think it’s necessary. But really, this is the message I want everybody to hear if something happens to you. Right. And you were in the hospital and you can’t do all the things that you’re doing now, now what’s going to happen? Your spouse is going to have to take over. Or if you’re a single mom, for instance, somebody is going to have to step up and help with the children. So you’re no good to anybody else unless you are taking care of yourself.
Andrea: [00:09:02] Exactly. Exactly. And I know that I think that what that looks like as far as learning to say no is to give you an example, taking a walk at the park before I even learn and I did my homework on self-care was unthinkable, but I needed to say yes to everything else and walk at the park never did happen. So now I so if I say yes to the walk in the park, that means that I might be saying no to washing the dishes now and asking my husband to do it right or my partner. Right.
Jo: [00:09:41] Yeah. Yeah.
Andrea: [00:09:42] So that’s to just give a practical example. Right.
Jo: [00:09:48] And I think that that’s that’s true. And when we hesitate to ask our spouses, like, would you do this? Would you take out the garbage? Like, because they’re going to go, yes, I guess. Right. Maybe they might and we don’t want to hear it. But really, when I do that with my husband, he just, you know, just started doing it like I need you to take out the garbage. I need you to go get the mail or whatever it happens to be. Right. And he just does it. I’m like, wow, I used to do all this by myself. Right. And he’s doing it now, but yeah.
Andrea: [00:10:18] So it’s big. I think sometimes we assume that they are not going to do it or they’re not going to do it right. And the reality is that once we ask for help.
Jo: [00:10:27] Yeah.
Andrea: [00:10:28] They’re willing to help and do it.
Jo: [00:10:31] Yeah.
Andrea: [00:10:32] With a smile hopefully.
Jo: [00:10:32] That’s right. Yeah.
Andrea: [00:10:34] Let’s talk about this wonderful retreat that you have put together because.
Jo: [00:10:38] Oh.
Andrea: [00:10:39] It’s like the perfect timing.
Jo: [00:10:41] Yeah.
Andrea: [00:10:42] For people to just take a weekend break. And what I love about it is that it is just so rich with yoga, connecting to your body, understanding nutrition, de-cluttering space. This is I think, it really can set the tone for wrapping up these, you know, this year 2020.
Jo: [00:11:11] Yes, exactly. Yes.
Andrea: [00:11:13] So tell me about it.
Jo: [00:11:15] Yeah. So we’re going to meet the retreat starts October the twenty-third is all online, so you don’t have to go anywhere. We can’t go anywhere. Right. So we start with the Zoom call to introduce each other. So you have this chance to connect with other women on this retreat.
Andrea: [00:11:33] And it’s Friday night,
Jo: [00:11:35] It’s on a Friday night, Friday night. And we will talk about what our intentions are because I’m really big on not just having this just for the retreat, but coming away with how am I really going to incorporate all the self-care tools that I know how to do, going forward. So that’s that’s kind of a theme I have for this retreat. After that, I’ll take us on a. At the end of that call, I’ll take us on a visualization so we can just drift off and go to sleep. Right. And the next morning, we’re going to have a live yoga class on Zoom with a beautiful woman from Napa, called her name is Ellyson and she will take… If you’ve never done yoga before, it’s OK, right? So it’s very simple. And then she’ll talk to us about why this is so important to you to do yoga, how it can help you during this time, this crazy time. Right. And then you’ll have a chance to ask questions if you have of her.
Andrea: [00:12:40] How long is that Yoga part?
Jo: [00:12:43] About an hour about the whole thing will only be an hour. That’s it. And then at so I think that’s going to start at nine. And then this is Pacific Standard Time. And then at 12 we’re going to cook with Chef Bai. And Chef Bai is this young woman from San Diego and she was a French Cordon Blue trained chef and she had some medical problems a few years ago. So she switched over to being a vegan and she took everything over to all of her cooking. And being a chef is all vegan. So we’ve already picked out some fabulous recipes that we’re going to cook together. So you get on another Zoom, call with her, we’ll all be cooking together and she just guide you through this and you’re just like, wow, at the end, you have got this beautiful meal
Andrea: [00:13:28] Do I need to be in my kitchen at that party at that time?
Jo: [00:13:32] Yeah. You’ll just be in your kitchen,
Andrea: [00:13:34] OK? Yeah.
Jo: [00:13:35] And we’ll I’ll send out ahead of time the grocery list, what you need to get and have everything. Always tell everybody, get everything ready because she goes really fast. But she also talks a lot about what are the high vibrational foods and how you can nurse yourself going forward into the wintertime and shore up your immune system, which we all need to do, right?
Andrea: [00:13:59] Oh, my gosh.
Jo: [00:13:59] I say because of covid. Right. So that last about two hours. Right. And then you see this beautiful meal. Right. Then I’m going to have suggestions for you to do all comes out in an email of what you can do if you can’t think of something to be on retreat. So. So I also am going to include a lot of my recipes that are very simple that you can make either during the weekend or later, just very simple recipes that I use to to nourish my body. And then that evening you can listen to this at any time that you want. But another visualization by me, it’s a recorded one. You just listen to that.
Andrea: [00:14:39] Oh, nice, that’s wrapping up the second day.
Jo: [00:14:44] Right. And then Sunday, the third day that morning at ten o’clock, we’re going to de- clutter, have a de-cluttering session for a couple of hours. Now, we’re not going to be decluttering the whole house or anything like that, but you’ll get to choose whatever it is that you want to declutter. And I’m going to guide you on this what do I want to do?
Andrea: [00:15:05] What made you chose de-cluttering because I know there’s something behind that, right?
Jo: [00:15:10] Yes. So here’s my idea. And I used to lead this. I think you came all of those calls a long time ago on Andrea. But so just knowing that you’re not the only one, there are other people. First of all, you’re going to get on the call with me. We’re going to help you decide. or you are going to decide what you want to de-clutter? Right. And then you’ll get off the call after about ten minutes. Right. And you.
Andrea: [00:15:32] OK, well, it could be a drawer that I chose.
Jo: [00:15:38] a yeah, it might be a drawer or it might be your office space. Just something very simple,
Andrea: [00:15:42] ah,Huh?
Jo: [00:15:43] And then we’ll come back at the top of the hour and just talk about that, because some people have a lot of trouble letting go of stuff. And when you let go, this is I’ve seen this over and over and over. When you let go of some of the physical stuff, it frees you up. You have more energy because let’s face it, this stuff is just nagging at is behind us all the time. Drag. Clutter will bring you down. Right. So this is just to add another component to being, you know, more relaxed and freer and more yourself. You might decide to clutter some emails. It could be anything just so you can get that energy going back again.
Andrea: [00:16:23] Yeah, I know. For me, when I did it, I learned that a lot of the stuff that was outside physically was a representation of what was going on inside of my mind.
Jo: [00:16:33] Yes, yes. We can’t think straight when we have all the stuff, all the clutter, all the stuff around. And I think someone on the… I led this retreat in the summer and one of the participants even took that on before I decided to just added this time. And she said, I just went and I just cleaned up my office. And it is looks so beautiful now. And I put some flowers in there and it’s not cluttered anymore and I just feel great, you know. So it gave me the idea to incorporate that part.
Andrea: [00:17:04] So, day three already we’re de-cluttering the space. I love it.
Jo: [00:17:08] Yeah. And then this afternoon, the Sunday afternoon that. Again, you’ll have different ideas of what you can do to really be on retreat, because sometimes we just don’t think about like one thing that we didn’t talk about Andrea, but because of the fires, you know, we can’t go for a walk necessarily. The air quality is so bad. Right. So. So I give you ideas. It might be just a simple thing. Like you just put on some music and start dancing. Right. And that’s why I love the cooking, too, because it keeps you right in the present moment you’re inside. It brings you into the present moment. You can’t think about anything else. You just cooking, right?
Andrea: [00:17:48] Yeah. Yeah. So I know people might be going, oh my God, in a retreat! I don’t want to cook, I don’t want to clean. But there’s a difference there’s an intention behind it. Right.
Jo: [00:17:59] Right. So that’s right.
Andrea: [00:18:01] You kind of have an understanding of opening up a new space for us. Right. And understanding nutrition, self-care, clearing the spaces, connecting with our inner truths. Yeah, right.And as you said before, all of us know this stuff. This is just another reminder. And there’s an energy that when you’re connecting with other women doing this, the same like minded women, it builds that energy. Right. And, you know, you’re not the only one. So that in the evening of Sunday, Sunday evening, we’re going to do we’ll have another the last zoom call. We’ll come together and we’ll talk about what we’re taking away from this retreat, what we’ve learned, what we got out of it and what we’re going to do moving forward. And then Ellison, the yoga teacher, will come back in and she’s going to take us on a Yoga Nidra, which is it’s…it’s basically you’re just asleep. It’s like you’re going to go to sleep. You’re going to lay down on the floor yourself or whatever while she takes you on this beautiful visualization. And then she’s going to have a sound bath that goes with it, that is. Oh so we are wrapping up the third day with a sound bath.
Jo: [00:19:18] And for those of you that never experienced it is just sublime. It’s just sublime. It’s just beautiful. Right. It’s so relaxing. She uses big I’m not sure, but I think she uses these big bowls and the sound just makes you so relaxed and peaceful and serene.
Andrea: [00:19:38] So the effects are long lasting. Like you said at the beginning, this is something that they can we can walk away with and. Yeah. And have it be implemented in our lives beyond that weekend.
Jo: [00:19:52] Exactly.
Andrea: [00:19:53] Jo, what do we need to do to prepare? Like what would be your recommendation as far as what we need to say no to that weekend in order to say yes to this retreat.
Jo: [00:20:07] Yeah, that’s a great that’s a great question. So I’ll be sending out an email ahead of time talking about this. But you, the first thing that I recommend is you tell your family if you have people that you’re living with, that you’re going to be on retreat,
Andrea: [00:20:23] OK?
Jo: [00:20:23] And so they need to find a way to entertain themselves that you’re, just like you’re not going to be there, all right. And children need to, you know, like you can explain to children, you know, this is mom’s time to take time for herself. And how are you going to take care of yourself while Mom’s on this retreat? And maybe Dad takes the kids out somewhere. But this is your time, because if you if, as we said about the hub of the wheel, the hub breaks down everyone, the whole family is in trouble. And I always said this to women who have a hard time giving themselves permission to do something like this, is think of it like this. You’re doing this for your children. You’re doing this for your spouse. You’re doing it for your family so that you have more energy to give to them. No one can keep giving when they’re burned out. When they’re stressed, you just become resentful.
Andrea: [00:21:24] When your cup is empty, right?
Jo: [00:21:25] Yeah, so this is for your mom. So you might I’m going to have you get all the things that gather together like a journal. You know, you might want to have a candle, all the things that make you really comfortable, your favorite blanket, you’ll get together, maybe your books, whatever is going to make you… bring you joy. You know, you may decide to just take a bath and have your essential oils around anything as if you were going on a retreat. This is for you. You get to have anything you want.
Andrea: [00:21:57] So prepare yourself mentally. Is what I hear, right?
Jo: [00:22:00] Yes,
Andrea: [00:22:01] And let everybody know that that’s the way it’s going to go on our weekend. And then basically just just know that you’re going to be occupying some spaces in your home and. Kind of create that sacred space.
Jo: [00:22:15] Yeah, absolutely.
Andrea: [00:22:17] Saturday we’ll need the kitchen.
Jo: [00:22:20] Yes, that’s right. Just move your computer or your laptop, your laptop, your iPad, whatever, to the kitchen, because it’s going to be a lot of fun. Yeah. And here’s one thing. If you sign up by this Sunday, the 11th, you can get a free coaching session with me either before or after the retreat is up to you. And that’s just to strategize how you’re going to just it helps you personally what you’re going to be doing. It’s your choice, whatever you want to talk about.
Andrea: [00:22:50] But yeah, of course. Of course. Now I’m going to include all the information about, the link so they can sign up and signing up is pretty simple, right? you just have to click and that’s it.
Jo: [00:23:03] Yeah. Just click and that’s it.
Andrea: [00:23:04] Thank you so much, Jo. This was wonderful. And I will be participating in the retreat, so I hope to see everyone there.
Jo: [00:23:12] I know. I’m so excited.
Jo: [00:23:14] Yeah. And I just want to leave you with one thing as a wonderful quote that I try to live by. And it says, The time, the time to relax is when you don’t have time. And it’s by a guy named Sidney Harris. So it’s really it’s counterintuitive and counterintuitive, but it’s really true. That is the time when you need to relax the most when you’re the busiest.
Andrea: [00:23:39] Wonderful thing.
Jo: [00:23:40] Yeah. Thank you so much, Andrea. Thank you.